How did you feel when visiting the places of your childhood memories after years?
I realized that after my childhood, it was painful to go and see the place of my childhood in my early 20s. After years, it was my first time to visit the neighborhood where I passed my elementary school, learned to play football for the first time, played the most exciting hide-seekers and other games that lasted until midnights…
It was a large part of my childhood and I had to leave my childhood earlier than it should have been due to several reasons. My mother’s serious health problems, our transition from financial wealth to poverty (from everything to nothing financially), and the deterioration of life quality day by day… Simultaneously, all of the people around us cut their relationship with us… Many debts, regular foreclosures coming home, and other difficulties…
I was in seeking, sometimes by playing ball and sometimes by studying… But I could not give myself to both of them because the heart of that boy was broken.. The motivation to play with the friends was decreased, my grades in school were no longer the high as before… Even though my name means hope, there was no light to have hope for me in those years…
However, life always has a last-minute surprise for you especially, when you feel that you don’t have anything… I recognized this rule at that time: “When one door closes, another door opens…”
Happiness, excitement, peaceful and then concern, suffers, demotivation. Then, starting from the zero… Childhood memories…
Anyways… Let’s go back to the visit after many years…
Renewed buildings, soulless and quiet street… Each step brought nice memories with those people who are no longer in my childhood …
The reason I wanted to visit there was that I felt good and the missing parts were completed and I wanted to live those moments with more pleasure .. To enjoy without suffering… However, if it was more enjoyable in childhood, it might not be a guarantee of having the same feelings later…
Let’s talk about the highlighted picture of the post..
I write these lines, looking out of the window with 3 tree views in my office in Barcelona… It reminds me that when I was little and we were wealthy, we were visiting my grandparents’ cove house in the summer. There were similar 3 thin and very long trees on the balcony…
The house was destroyed years later and the building was built in its place… Now, I will not be able to enjoy it even if I go and see that place. I will not be able to sit in front of the door and listen to the sounds of the wind blowing in the afternoon. There will be no leaves of apricot and cherry trees. After breakfast, I won’t be able to go out to those fruit trees and taste their fresh, fresh flavors…
But who knows, maybe one day I can experience a similar atmosphere in another city, another village, another house… Of course, with awareness, a more peaceful and happy …
A new neighbor..
The other day I saw a swallow on my window in my office. She was running away as soon as I looked at her. The next day I noticed it again, this time she did not run away and there was a piece of grass in her mouth … I was very happy when I saw her with the grass. She was going to be my neighbor and her nest was just on the corner of my window… I was able to take her first picture which reminds me of struggling, the passion of life, and awareness.
An alone swallow that tries to build her nest just next to my office desk … We didn’t have much difference… We are passengers. In different time periods of our lives, we stay and survive at different places and then go to the next one. Life… Always, there will be a door opened… Always, keep your hope with yourself.
